Choosing the Date

We got engaged in mid-April 2013.

I’m a teacher.

Mike would like to get married as soon as possible.

What date would you choose?

Yeah, I didn’t know either.

And not just “didn’t know” like, May, June and July are all so nice or a fall wedding would be awesome. Didn’t know like…

  • Can we (I) plan a wedding by this August?
  • Is fall a possibility?
  • How do we feel about a winter wedding?
  • And what about spring?
  • Do we want to wait all the way until next summer?

I mean, basically all I could come up with is that we would be married by September. 2014.

That’s 17 months away. Not helpful, self.

My key issue was trying to figure out a time when I didn’t think planning a wedding would be extra-double-stressful for me, while trying to accommodate Mike’s can’t-we-just-get-married-already. And in the course of all that, field an awful lot of “Oh that is so great I’m so happy for you guys when are you getting married?!”

I’m sure there’s some sort of better stock response that no one told me about, but I mostly went with “Oh, we haven’t decided yet.” which is apparently license to start sharing every option you can think of…”If you aren’t too picky you could totally get married this summer” “Don’t worry about other people…do what makes you happy” “Give yourself plenty of time to plan.”

And with seriously NO CLUE about what I wanted I was lost. And also getting really stressed out, because I don’t like too many options. Although we started talking about budget & guest list & venue too, the date thing was killing me. And every time I thought I was getting there, someone would throw another option out, and I would start to think, “Oh…well…maybe…that could work…”

ENOUGH.

I called my sister and talked through all the options…

  • Can we (I) plan a wedding by this August? Yes. But it would mean that every decision would need to made on the first go, and so the process wouldn’t be fun. I wouldn’t really have time to think of things, call around, explore options, etc. Boo. Oh, and Mike isn’t really home until mid-June, and he’s moving in somewhere in there, and we’re going to Guatemala for a week in July.
  • Is fall a possibility? NO. This was always my last choice (even worse than this August). Back to school is a rough transition and I’m a mentor teacher, which means I train teachers through an alternative certification program and although I love doing out OMG does it take forever, especially in the fall. My resident right now is taking care of everything (plenty of time to work on wedding venues today!), but in the beginning of the year, it typically takes about 3 hours to make sure they’re ready to teach 15 minutes of my class. It takes me about 5 minutes to prep for the same thing. I wouldn’t be able to do both well and I would find it really stressful.
  • How do we feel about a winter wedding? I don’t have anything against the concept, and although I would still be in school, things are way calmer by January. However, a lot of my family lives in Texas and California, including my sister. Travel to Chicago could be snarled by bad weather. It could be awful out and no one would want to go outside. Lots of options. Too much risk, and no opportunity to show off my home city. If I were going to visit, I wouldn’t want it to be January.
  • And what about spring? Spring would be doable. I’d have to take a couple days off (we only get 3 per year; teachers don’t have vacation) so a honeymoon would have to wait, but this is pretty feasible. However…
  • Do we want to wait all the way until next summer? If we wait only a month or three, I would be off work. Plenty of time to get things done. Honeymoon after wedding. Sister in town for awhile (in addition to just liking my sister as a person, she is super helpful and would be great to have around).

It still isn’t Mike’s first choice, but he’ll live. And I think it will be a better choice for our guests, and for me. Of course, I still had to second guess myself through several additional conversations (Well, maybe May would be good….I could pull off August….).

But its decided. Next June, or maybe July.

Now I feel like I can start thinking, and I can call venues and starting figuring things out. Let the games begin.

Did you know when you were getting married? How did you decide?

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One thought on “Choosing the Date

  1. Pingback: Making the Guest List Round 1: Getting it all Out There | Mary Marry Mike

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