Matters of Faith

We’re getting married at this church:


Image via Movie Locations

Which is where I’m a member, and I’m Presbyterian.

But Shamrock actually attends this church:


Old St Patrick’s Church Image via Chicago Architecture

Because he’s Catholic.

And when I say “attend” I mean, “when we met we both attended our respective churches every week.” This is both good and bad. Good, obviously, because we found someone who shares our values (basically) and all that. Which is lovely. But bad too, because our faiths are close-but-decidedly-not-the-same.

We actually met with my pastor (the one who will be marrying us) over a year ago, and then met with a priest at his church shortly after to discuss all this. Neither of us think it’s a deal breaker, but we also don’t know how to navigate it–we like having our significant other go to church with us (especially me) but we’re much more comfortable in our own habitat*. So we’re both good with the whole liking-God thing but we aren’t really sure how to handle it. We’re math & tech people here–we just want to know where to go. After that meeting, Shamrock felt comfortable enough to know that we would stay together and he’d like to marry me, but we still didn’t know what to actually do.

Cut to Christmas 2012. We went to three churches. In 16 hours**. That? Not the makings of a good long term solution.

We’re still figuring it out, but the basic idea is that we plan on each attending church with the other once a month, which means we worship as a couple half the time and fly solo the other half. It isn’t awesome, but it works ok, for now at least. Neither of us is closed to the idea of this changing in the future, but this was the best we could do so far.

*If you’re wondering, communion is one of our biggest sticking points. I feel like an outsider every Sunday when I have to sit in the pew because Protestants can’t take Catholic communion, and he feels like it isn’t even church when we don’t celebrate communion.

**And I still did not hear Silent Night. What’s up with that?


One thought on “Matters of Faith

  1. Pingback: Matters of Faith: Making it Legal | Mary Marry Mike

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