I promise I’m almost to those recaps! But I want to get the few hiccups we had off my chest and talk about my choice not to get a DOC.
Basically, I chose not to get a DOC because it didn’t feel necessary. The church asks that you “limit their involvement to the reception”–they have four staff people and are a well-oiled machine–and the reception is a separate venue from the caterer, which includes four staff members. Since its an old house, much of their job is to tell people where the bathrooms are and that there are no drinks on the stairs, but it seemed that a DOC might be overkill. And our bridal party is definitely on top of things, so they would be able to handle minor issues themselves (MOH Sis instituted a no-questions-for-the-bride policy Friday morning and not a person bothered me). So we skipped it.
For the most part, I still think that was a pretty solid decision.
As I mentioned, it poured at the start of our cocktail hour. But it wasn’t supposed to. All advice to the contrary, I started looking at the Ten-Day forecast, well, ten days before. And it was good news. 10% chance of rain. I had a spreadsheet with a rain plan roughed out. I had a brief conversation with the caterer and coordinator when we went for our walk through a month out.
But then that 10% chance…we weren’t going to need it. It stayed 10% up til the day before, when it rose to 30%…but 30% still isn’t too much. So I did a very spotty job of communicating what to do in the event of rain. I knew what I wanted. I knew to move the candy bar upstairs. I knew we might want to limit the selection of alcohol a little so we didn’t end up with two barely used bottles of everything. I knew to scrap the trellises and just put the placecards on a table. And I mentioned any one of those things to several people…but they were just that, mentions.
Where the cocktail hour and dancing would have happened | All photos by Caili Helsper Photography
There was still little chance of rain as our ceremony started. As we were taking pictures on the way out to the ceremony though, it became increasingly certain it would storm–our outdoor cocktail hour was slipping away. But no one wanted to upset me, so that wasn’t the message I got. I was told still that it “might” rain, that they’d try to have the cocktail hour outside. And so I said things (like, “No, I want them on trellises”) based on the idea that we still might have anything outside when everyone else knew we wouldn’t. By the time I figured it out, which would be when five different phones severe weather sirens (does your phone do that? It always scares me.) went off announcing flash flood & severe storm warnings as it started to pour.
I don’t really care about my trellises, but I do care about my people. In between the ceremony and reception, my mom & C, Crafty and my uncle & his family set up our details. It wasn’t a ton of work (although I am super appreciative) but I made it stressful for them by not making my wishes clear. They really wanted me to be happy, and were stuck guessing “I think she’ll want this.” which wasn’t fun for them. Even if I didn’t care, they did. And that I regret–causing people I care about to worry about making me happy.
Mama Clover, Aunt S (in blue) & Cousin M (in white) were awesome. And that’s Aunt L’s newest grandchild, our six week old guest all the way from Texas.
A DOC probably wouldn’t have done any differently than my awesome people did, but two things would have helped. It would have been her “fault” and my friends and family wouldn’t have had to feel guilty as they guessed what I wanted. Also, a DOC would probably have nailed me down on the back up plans a little better. (I’m making it sound like there was tons to do, but they just set decor on the mantel, set out the guest book and did the candy bar, so they weren’t slaving away or anything–we thought about hiring help but it was so little to do we skipped it.)
I know that particularly for my Aunt S & Crafty during setup and my sister during the beginning of the reception, guess-what-the-bride-thinks added up to some stress, which I really regret. They all assure me it was ok though, and I in turn assure them everything was great. So if I did again would I get a DOC? Still a nope, but I would have made and communicated a very detailed rain plan!
And the other things that weren’t so great?
- The tuxes were TERRIBLE. Avoid Jos A Bank…our guys were measured at three different stores, and all of them + the random groom picking his up at the Clybourn store at the same time as Shamrock all had bad fits–and then they tell you thats on purpose. The fit is bad enough that you can tell in some of the pictures, and GM BFF’s pants were so tight he couldn’t carry his phone.
- The flowers were minorly wrong. The bridesmaids flowers were the wrong color (green not blue) and had a clashy wrap (mint with clover dresses) that I specifically said to make SURE wasn’t used. Unfortunately my mom was supposed to pass on that message, so I can’t say where the disconnect happened. They were pretty, just not correct. And Shamrock had the teensiest bout ever, much smaller than anyone else’s including the five year old ring bearer. The same flower was supposed to be in my bouquet too, but wasn’t, so just…randomly tiny.
- I didn’t love my dress belt. I also didn’t care about my dress belt. This is what happen when you push something to the last second.
- Our colors weren’t as cohesive as I would have liked.
And that’s really it…so all in all I’d say it was a pretty great day!
Anyone else trust the weather report and get burned (drenched)? Did you get a DOC?