Plus One Plus None

Everyone’s heard the story of someone who brought their entire extended family to a wedding. Or the guest who assumed their five children were invited, or the one who brought some guy she met the night before.

We had no such extras, but I did find the case of the plus ones to be so interesting. For everyone’s wedding.

I know there are those who think you really should know the bride & groom to be invited (or even that you must be living together, engaged or married) and others who can’t imagine not allowing people to bring a guest. That has nothing to do with this post (and brings out a lot of strong feelings, so I’ll stay away!)

Our policy was pretty simple: you can bring a plus one.

We didn’t really have much in the way of new relationships, so when we did our invitations people were either in a long term relationship or not dating anyone. For our purposes, a plus one is literally a plus one/”and guest”, not my sisters boyfriend of 2 years or someone I’ve actually met–they’ve either just barely started dating or are just coming along as a date. If you could write the invitation using a name, that doesn’t count as a “plus one” in my book.

So here’s my question: Who BRINGS a plus one? Not who gets one…but when you give people a plus one, who actually brings someone?


I did bring GM BFF to a wedding once. I was MOH so I didn’t sit with him–this is his “me & my date” picture. Ha. ha.

Here are our stats:

0/5: Older widowed or divorced women (I’m not sure I wrote anything explicit on their invites since I figured they didn’t want to bring a guest–no one did although one woman did consider “using her plus one to make Son come so he can drive me.” which we thought was funny. Son really didn’t want to attend, so I guess he dropped her off and picked her up.)

3/9: Singles. This was the one I was really interested in as we planned our guest list. Who would actually bring a guest? We had one person rsvp with a friend and then change it to their super brand new boyfriend two days before. Two friends waited til the day rsvps were due so they had time to find a date. No local cousins brought dates, and several friends didn’t either.

My out of town 20 something single cousins didn’t get invited with dates but also booked their tickets solo well before invites went out so I knew they had no plans to bring anyone anyhow–they’re all a flight away. So I won’t count those. Had someone asked, it would have been fine. Actually, the belly bands were blank unless I thought people needed clarification–since we only invited children of family, our friends belly bands said “M & B” and a friend who didn’t live with her boyfriend had “N & C” so it was clear he was invited. And then those who were single got “T and guest”–but everyone else I figured we’d all be on the same page about who was invited and I let it be. We had no exciting surprises.

My favorite “and guest” is from Mini Me, who invited a friend who had a baby to her wedding ” & Family” because she couldn’t figure out how else to word it–she rsvped for 5: herself, her son, her parents and one of her several brothers!

As for me? Other than taking GM BFF to a wedding, I’ve never just brought someone, although I really wish I had once–the only people I knew remotely well were the groom and best man. I should have skipped the cocktail hour but instead spent it circling between the bathroom, the bar (more water please!) and the windows wishing someone would talk to me. As long as I know people though, I personally would fly solo–I think its more fun.

I’m so curious…who actually BROUGHT a plus one to your wedding? Would you bring a plus one if you were single?


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